Turn each of the following statements into an arguable claim—i.e., a point that is debatable and shows (or implies) your analysis of or opinion about the topic of your essay or a particular paragraph. To be an effective thesis statement, the claim must be narrow enough to allow you to fully support it within the context of the essay and broad enough to enable you to write more than a paragraph or two about it. Topic sentences work in a similar way, except your claim needs to apply to the entire paragraph.
For each statement below, indicate the problem and rewrite it to make a stronger claim. When finished, compare your answers to the sample answers under Course Documents.
1.Gore had a good argument, but I don’t agree with him.
Problem: It’s too short and does not have very much explanation
Rewrite: As Gore had many persuasive arguments, I disagree because many of his points are not validated and because global warming is a myth.
2.Obviously Gore feels a lot of pent-up resentment about losing the 2000 presidential election.
Problem: This is not an arguable point and
Rewrite: After loosing the 2000 presidential election, Gore had a lot of resentment built up, but rather than dwelling on it he strove to continue to educate the population on global warming.
3.In this paper I will attempt to explain what Rachel Carson’s novel was
about and how it relates to what Al Gore talks about.
Problem: they are stating what they are going to talk about instead of giving a general idea of what they are writing about
Rewrite: Rachel Carson’s novel has many comparisons to Al Gore’s documentary including how people slowly destructing the planet, and their use of logos
4.In Chapter 7, Carson uses many appeals to ethos, pathos, and logos.
Problem: to generic
Rewrite: In chapter 7, Carson uses many appeals to ethos through use of scientists quotations, pathos through the graphic details of animal endangerment, and finally logos through the multipul uses of statistics.
5.Throughout his documentary, Gore talks about himself to prove he knows what he’s talking about.
6.A lot of people are clueless about how human beings are destroying the environment, so Carson and Gore felt the need to enlighten them.